If I Had One Wish


Marc Friedlander


I've been thinking for awhile that if I had one wish, what might it be?  Winning the PowerBall MegaMillions lotto has its appeal, but I've settled on something a little more exotic.

If I had one wish, I'd like to be a dolphin in the ocean.  No, seriously.

No health insurance, no taxes, no mortgage, no shoes, no need for a job, high intelligence - sounds like paradise.  Echolocation is just another of my - I mean their - extraordinary talents.  They have a family structure and language.  They have everything they need and are smart enough to enjoy it.

I'd know enough to steer clear of all humans.  Some of them - I mean us - are okay but it's hard to tell the good ones from the maniacs.

I would just cruise around the ocean and live my life out naturally.  I talked to Robin about it and she's all for it too.  I like herring and sardines - and I doubt if the other dolphins would object to 2 new Jewish ones.

We'd have to avoid sharks and ships and other dangers - I understand that - but there are no guarantees in this world, except death and taxes.  I mean, except death.

So if I should chance upon a magic lamp, or a fairy Godmother, or Rod Serling, and I’m offered one wish, you can have the 100 foot yacht.  Just do us a favor and keep those goddamned lines, hooks, and nets out of the water.

Signed, the new fish on the block (I mean marine mammals),

Marc and Robin Dolphinstein