I've been thinking for awhile that if I had one wish, what might it be? Winning the PowerBall MegaMillions lotto has its appeal, but I've settled on something a little more exotic.
If I had one wish, I'd like to be a dolphin in the ocean. No, seriously.
No health insurance, no taxes, no mortgage, no shoes, no need for a job, high intelligence - sounds like paradise. Echolocation is just another of my - I mean their - extraordinary talents. They have a family structure and language. They have everything they need and are smart enough to enjoy it.
I'd know enough to steer clear of all humans. Some of them - I mean us - are okay but it's hard to tell the good ones from the maniacs.
I would just cruise around the ocean and live my life out naturally. I talked to Robin about it and she's all for it too. I like herring and sardines - and I doubt if the other dolphins would object to 2 new Jewish ones.
We'd have to avoid sharks and ships and other dangers - I understand that - but there are no guarantees in this world, except death and taxes. I mean, except death.
So if I should chance upon a magic lamp, or a fairy Godmother, or Rod Serling, and I’m offered one wish, you can have the 100 foot yacht. Just do us a favor and keep those goddamned lines, hooks, and nets out of the water.
Signed, the new fish on the block (I mean marine mammals),
Marc and Robin Dolphinstein